


Drivers Ed

by Legs (InsanityRule)



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:22:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4357799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule/pseuds/Legs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard Hendricks, the spineless walking Wikipedia article, asked him for driving lessons.</p><p>“Just start the damn car Richard.”</p><p>It’s not going well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drivers Ed

**Author's Note:**

> I got my 100th follower! So here's a story for them.

Richard Hendricks, the spineless walking Wikipedia article, asked him for driving lessons.

“Just start the damn car Richard.”

It’s not going well.

“I’m just familiarizing myself. There’s the,” he clicks the windshield wipers on and off, “there’s a lot of different switches.”

“This isn’t the fucking batmobile Richard it’s a van.” His van. The Aviato van. The van that, until a few moments ago, has the seat perfectly in place to provide optimal comfort and support while he cruises around Silicon Valley. “How the hell do you get to be twenty-five and not learn to drive?”

“I learned, I know how,” based on what he’s doing with the sun visor Erlich would have to disagree, “but I… when I went in to get my license I freaked out. My parents wouldn’t let me try again. But now, well they’re all the way in Tulsa and they can fuck themselves. I want to drive.”

“So drive.”

Really is this that difficult to figure out?

“I just…”

“Put your foot on the brake.” He’s being very condescending. Richard stamps his left down. “What the hell are you doing?”

“My foot’s on the break.”

“Your right foot dumbass. How the hell can you quote me the population of Los Angeles but you don’t know that?”

“Facts are easy.” He’s biting his lip a lot. “Cars have too much shit.”

Okay, time to slow this shit down. “Step by step okay? Start the car.” He does. “Now, right foot break.” Richard presses down on the break. “Put it in gear.”

Richard tries to lean over and look at the gears while pressing on the break and he hits his head on the steering wheel. “Fuck!”

“Will you relax?”

Richard takes a deep breath. “What if I hit something?”

Is he fucking serious? “Richard we’re in a parking lot. Of an abandoned building.”

There’s hundreds of feet between them and the closest run down fence. Honestly the city would probably be thankful that they tore it down for free.

“Will you stop being such a pussy and drive already?”

Richard grabs his hair and leans forward until his face is on the steering wheel. His forehead honks the horn and he startles.

And his eyes are red.

“What the fuck are you crying?”

“I don’t want to fuck up, but I just fucking suck. So hard. I dropped out of college. I can’t drive.”

“Richard.”

“My app keeps crashing my laptop and I probably fucked up my processor-”

“Richard!” He jumps. “Take a fucking breath.” He gulps in air. Not really a breath but close enough. “Now, just put your foot on the break.”

Erlich puts the car in gear. “Now just ease off the break. No acceleration.”

And they’re cruising around at five miles an hour. He’s so bored but Richard keeps freaking out about making turns and parking and when they actually try out a few surface streets he about rear ends a lawnmower.

“Okay, stop. Park.” Erlich unbuckles and gets out.

Richard sits back and sighs. “I sucked right?”

“What? Oh, no. The rest of the trip is highway. You’re going to get assfucked if you try to drive on a California highway.” And Richard looks like he’s going to have an aneurism if he keeps driving.

“Oh, right.” Richard gets out and stands by the passenger door. “Um…”

“Just ask.” Whatever it is it can’t be that weird.

“Can I sit in back?”

“Sure?” Okay it’s a little weird.

Erlich starts driving back after taking ten minutes to get his seat back in the perfect place. He glances back as they get on the highway and Richard is gone? Oh no, false alarm he’s lying down.

“Driving isn’t that bad.”

“I’m just… it makes me tired. Stressing out like that.” He’s using his hoodie for a pillow. “Can you just… I don’t know drive around for a little?”

“Alright.” Erlich exits off the highway a few exits early. It’s a bitch to get back to the incubator on this road. Richard better be grateful. “You buckled up?”

Richard’s already asleep.

\--

Okay, he’s a big guy and Richard is tiny. He can carry him no problem.

Problem. Big problem. He’s going to fuck up his back. Richard’s heavier than he looks. “Jesus Richard you’re dense for a twelve year old.”

Richard wraps his arms around Erlich’s shoulders. “Are you awake you lazy fuck?” He starts snoring. “Of course not. God damnit.”

He carries Richard inside and pretends to drop him once they get to his room. And it backfires because Richard’s instinct was to cling tighter.

“Shit! What?” He’s almost choking Erlich this was a bad idea. “What?”

“We’re back.” Richard nods and Erlich sets him down. He’s blushing. “We’re not done driving either. You’re going to be drag racing by the time I’m through with you.”

“I doubt it. But um, thanks Erlich. That was… it was really cool.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me Richard.”

He’s smiling big anyway.


End file.
